Triggers

 Now that our world has slowed down for us, I seem to react more to different words and statements. I have always said words matter and that seems to be even more amplified now. Words that are well meant can have unintended consequences. Words once said can not really be taken back. They may be apologized for and tried to be corrected but will still have a lingering impact. Maybe my sensitivity to words and phrases is due to having lost other capabilities. A phenomenon reported by people going blind or losing hearing related to other senses. Whether due to slowing down or increased sensitivity, the triggering is real. A simple, well intended statement of “feeling as well as can be for you” triggers a reaction. My defensiveness is one of saying wait, isn’t everyone doing as well as they can? Everyone has limitations or afflictions without others highlighting them. As I write this, it sounds pretty defensive and overly sensitive. But it is how I react and that seems different from before ALS.

I listen to music frequently. Typically I listen to Pandora radio mixes; Judy Collins, Sandpipers, We Five, or Lettermen. All from the 60’s and 70’s of my formative years. Music that triggers me back to simpler times and music. Inevitably I feel better. Coincidentally I notice many of these musicians are dying. Hmm!  Do people ask them if they are doing as well as they can? Okay, I will get over it.

One last note on triggering. Hopeful and hopeless. In my last ALS clinic, the Neurologist had a Resident following along. He explained my condition to her: the fact that my ALS was primarily in my lower extremities and the upper extremities were primarily DLS which was why my symptoms were progressing slower and the findings were associated with a greater longevity. This was truly a positive trigger! I left the clinic feeling hopeful instead of hopeless. Nothing really changed but hearing the doctor explain the condition to a resident sure triggered a positive reaction in me.

Bottom line. I seem more reactive to triggers. While what will elicit a trigger reaction remains a mystery, I know music has a powerful effect and some words can set  me off spinning. I conclude I need to be less sensitive and reactive to what well meaning people may say and focus on what they probably mean.


Comments

  1. Carla KelleyFebruary 6, 2025 at 10:05 AM

    We all need so much grace, both to receive grace and to give grace, moment by moment and day by day. “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
    ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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